Andy's jokes

Everybody is looking forward to Andy's jokes. Andy promised a new joke every week!

This is a perfect opportunity to improve your listening skills and skills of understanding. Often, British jokes are made from not understanding what someone has said. Jokes can be like a puzzle you must solve, so when 'the penny drops' (you finally understand) it should make you laugh! The British tell lots of jokes and play with words for fun.

Hang on to your seats. The jokes start here!

A Police Officer and a Penguin

Andy's 10th joke.
Taking instructions literally in English can have humourous results!

Is flying the safest way?


Andy's 9th joke. We say 'to walk' and 'a walk' but only 'to fly' (unless you are John Travolta and you have your own private plane!)

A colourful bird?


Andy's 8th joke, You are supposed to think of the sound a parrot makes, of course!

Doctor, doctor!


Andy's 7th joke. What happens whenever The Invisible Man forgets to wear his glasses!

Waiter, waiter!

Andy's 6th joke.
'Bean' or 'Been'? A lot of British humour is based on word-play.

Bad for your health!


Andy's 5th joke. I knew a man who never smoked, drank, danced, laughed or stayed up late. He lived to be 120 but was unhappy every day!

A good waiter is 'all ears'


Andy's fourth joke. As I am a terrible cook, I could just about manage the meal the man requested-well, the part that involves bread anyway (although it would probably be burnt)!

Eau d'Carrot!


Andy's third joke. During this month, the coldest March in 50 years, I have seen a number of snowmen on my walks with my dog, Jett.

A fishy story


Andy's second joke. The mistake the man in the joke makes is certainly 'food for thought'. Don't let the same kind of thing happen to you!


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